eBay buys back Skype; UPDATE: Skype to lead eBay

"We missed them. We haven't been as cool, or as profitable, since they left" said an eBay spokesman of Skype Ltd. "Since we own a swap meet, a mall, an ad network, a ticket agency, a car dealership, and a bank, a phone company should fit right in. It's about harmony, not about synergy."

UPDATE: 0630 Pacific, 1 April 2010. Conf call.

Skype management taking over eBay, and their plans for the first 30 days.

Business integration

• eBay stock listed on London stock exchange, denominated in euros
• Engineering moves to Estonia, headquarters moves to London

Harmony strategy

• eBay.com features auctions with emoticons
• Skype sports new emoticons: (sold), (sniped), (Elvis bobblehead), (powerseller)
• All eBay users can use eBay ID to automatically log into Skype
• eBay now available in 50 languages and 104 countries
• Every eBay seller and category now has own infomercial channel
• Skype acquires OnState and furnishes free Skype call center to every eBay and Half seller
• Skype acquires Pamela so buyers can fax bids and get fax auction results
• Webcams and headphones category now at top of all search results
• All phone numbers to have Skype links
• eBay apps now preinstalled on Samsung, Panasonic and LG smart TVs, Verizon smartphones
• PayPal opens in Russia, India, China
• eBay Motors installs Skype with every car
• Skype for Windows 5 adds tab showing contacts sorted by eBay activity and trust rank; search window lets you find things to buy

tags: skype, #aprilfools, ebay

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