Reputation to restore faith in Skype Me mode?
BlogHer
starts today, perhaps the live blogger event with the least recycled blatfarb and the most human context. In honor of women bloggers everywhere, here's a guest post by Matt responding to our SkypeMe Eve post by Dina Mehta.
You know, I haven't really given much thought to what it would be like for a woman in skypeme mode, but for myself I put it on when I just want to talk to someone and all my friends are busy. I don't often think of speaking with someone intimately that I don't know in real life, so the idea of meeting someone on skype, or anywhere else on the internet on intimate terms is kind of disconcerting to me, but what I have been thinking about is that the internet has slowly been taking the place of other social avenues.
At one point in time, people looking to find 'true love' as well as people looking to find 'a quick lay' would converge in physical establishments such as bars and clubs, and by being there it was like they were announcing themselves to be open to society (that is to talking with strangers). In such situations the people there would have to gauge what others were after by various signs that the person would make, as an example, if there was a woman sitting in a booth alone quietly, I would assume she wanted to remain that way, however if she were at the bar, I would assume she would be open to company at the bar.
What the internet has done, or so it seems, is to create a new avenue, where individuals have more open and apparent signs about what they are seeking, but at the same time, it has made this internet society be more fake, that is, the internet society can put up false faces very easily and become the person that they want to on that particular day. This means there is a vast separation between 'IRL' and 'IRC' so to speak. People online think less about what sort of person they appear to be, because tomorrow, they can be someone else and no one will know the difference. Perhaps when a woman puts herself in skypeme mode, men viewing that figure they can be completely rude, and have no fear, because even if she doesn't much like it, they can be someone else tomorrow. This is unfortunately a dim outlook for women, but also dim for men, because if society has allowed men to get too the point that they can have those attitudes then where else will society go?
Sorry for the long drawn out comment, but I read your article and gave it quite a bit of thought, something as I stated before that I haven't much done. I am fairly new to the internet, and yet I have already seen some rather crazy things online. I don't know if the internet is where I will choose to find society, and yet with my experiences chatting with people in skypeme mode, I have found many women that I enjoyed conversations with, and few men. Most men I try skyping are either all about the latest videogame, or only in SkypeMe because they are hoping for women to skype them for the reasons which you mentioned above. It seems most women I try skyping are rather nervous that I will simply want to talk about sex or other intimate things, so as far as I can tell this is a real problem.
Perhaps one solution would be a skype rating system, something where you can post a review of someone whom you have had a skype conversation with. A place to mention who is looking for a relaxing conversation and who is looking for phone sex.
Comments
Phil ... will i see you here at Blogher?
Posted by: Dina Mehta | July 28, 2006 05:02 PM